Bouncing Back: 20 Ways to Heal and Move forward Ater a Failed FET

 Join Dr. Carrie Bedient from the Fertility Center of Las VegasDr. Susan Hudson from Texas Fertility Center, and Dr. Abby Eblen from Nashville Fertility Center to learn what to do after a failed embryo transfer. We discuss 20 steps to take if your transfer was unsuccessful. A failed embryo transfer can be heartbreaking, but it’s not the end of your journey. In this episode, the docs share the top 20 things to do—and not do—after a failed cycle. They discuss why it’s important to give yourself grace, seek emotional support from close friends and family, and take a break if you need one. The doctors explain how a brief pause between cycles can help you reset physically and mentally, and why even a few months away from treatment often makes no real difference in the long run. You’ll also hear about the value of getting a wellness checkup, optimizing your health before trying again, and consulting with your doctor about new options. After a failed transfer, you may now qualify for additional testing that wasn’t previously recommended. The docs caution against reflexively transferring more than one normal embryo—since twins or triplets can pose serious risks to both mother and babies—and encourage exploring different protocols if you’ve used the same regimen multiple times. Finally, they cover when to consider a second opinion, the benefits of embryo genetic testing, and how to make the most of your insurance coverage. Most importantly, they remind listeners to be kind to themselves and take the time they need to heal before moving forward. This podcast was sponsored by US Fertility.

Episode Transcript:

Susan Hudson (00:01)

You’re listening to the Fertility Docs Uncensored podcast, featuring insight on all things fertility from some of the top rated doctors around America. Whether you’re struggling to conceive or just planning for your future family, we’re here to guide you every step of the way.

Susan Hudson MD (00:22)

Hello everyone, this is Dr. Susan Hudson from Texas Fertility Center with another episode of Fertility Docs Uncensored. I’m here with my funny, fantastic, and feisty co-hosts, Dr. Carrie Bedient from Fertility Center of Las Vegas and Dr. Abby Eblen from Nashville Fertility Center.

Carrie Bedient MD (00:36)

Hey!

Abby Eblen MD (00:40)

Hi, everybody.

Susan Hudson MD (00:40)

How are y’all doing today?

Carrie Bedient MD (00:42)

How are you?

Abby Eblen MD (00:42)

Good, what are you doing?

Susan Hudson MD (00:43)

Good, good. Well, we have Thanksgiving later this week, all kinds of good stuff. And after you eat everything, we get to go shopping.

Abby Eblen MD (00:52)

Yay! My favorite thing.

Susan Hudson MD (00:54)

So what type of holiday shoppers are you? Are you holiday shoppers where you shop during the year and you’re all easy breezy or Black Friday, Cyber Monday or leave it to the last minute?

Carrie Bedient MD (01:06)

Based on writing the book, which do you two think I am?

Abby Eblen MD (01:10)

You are the last minute shopper. You’re walking on December the 24th trying to find your last present.

Carrie Bedient MD (01:16)

24th. There you go.

Abby Eblen MD (01:17)

Okay, the 23rd.

Susan Hudson MD (01:19)

The 22nd, 23rd, there’s a lot of shopping going on in the, for Carrie’s house.

Abby Eblen MD (01:21)

Hahaha!

Carrie Bedient MD (01:22)

Yes. Yes. 100%. Yes. Susan, my guess is you have everything meticulously done by about December 10th. Except for one thing.

Susan Hudson MD (01:34)

Probably pretty close, pretty close. I don’t do really anything until Thanksgiving happens, but then I get it all done and knocked out.

Carrie Bedient MD (01:43)

Okay, and then Susan, what do you think about Abby? July?

Susan Hudson MD (01:47)

Abby is going to plan through the year and she’s going to acquire things. She may have a few things she needs to leave at the last minute, but she’s a pretty cool cucumber and doesn’t leave it to the last minute.

Abby Eblen MD (02:01)

Yeah, I hate leaving anything to the last minute. But I do shop a little bit. I actually have two three gifts already for people that I got throughout the year. But my rule of thumb is I start the Thursday before Thanksgiving. And the reason I do that is because the sales are already there, at least in the last few years. The sales are already there, but the people are not. So you get the best pick of everything if you start about the week before Thanksgiving. And now it may even be sooner than that.

Typically that’s when I start really trying to get going with shopping.

Carrie Bedient MD (02:31)

Okay, the follow-up question for both of you, online or in person?

Abby Eblen MD (02:36)

You can get more accomplished online. So I do everything I can possibly get, because you can get sizes, you’re more likely to get what you want. I do it online first and then whatever I can’t get online, then I go to the store and try and get.

Susan Hudson MD (02:47)

So I buy as much as I can online. I have two people who are the people who have everything they could possibly ever want or need. And so I have to be more creative with them. So there’s a couple of curiosity type shops in New Braunfels that I like to go to that have unique gifts for people who really don’t need anything, and I usually pick something up there for them because they have everything they need and really it’s just a gift to say I love you. Carrie?

Carrie Bedient MD (03:19)

Okay, I would say I try and do as much as I possibly can online just because I don’t really have time to go anywhere. ⁓ But there’s usually at least a couple things. If I’m getting clothes in particular, like there’s one or two people where the texture has to be exactly right. It’s just…so much easier to do that in person, but I do try and do as much as possible online. And there will be a couple things that I like go and I find in person and then I’ll try and track down online if I need a specific size.

Susan Hudson MD (03:51)

Good stuff, good stuff. All right, so our topic, yes.

Carrie Bedient MD (03:54)

Oh, can I, I don’t want to say abuse, because that’s not the right word. Can I make a plea for our listeners, if you have any amazing gifts for your spouse, let’s hear it. Let’s totally hear it. Let us know. And where do we get it? yeah, so anyway, if anybody has any amazing gifts for their spouse, By all means, please let us know.

Susan Hudson MD (04:23)

I will keep track of those on the emails that we get from our listeners. And so if we get some of these in in the next few weeks, we’ll definitely share with the world.

Abby Eblen MD (04:27)

Hahaha!

Carrie Bedient MD (04:33)

Yes, yes. Okay, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I’m sure we have a question of the day that we should get to.

Susan Hudson MD (04:39)

Our question of the day is, hi, I recently had my AMH tested and it was 1.48 but my AFC is 3. Why is this? My doctor said for this AMH it should be around 8 to 10. I’ve done IVF three times and all the embryos keep coming back as abnormal. Should we stop PGT testing?

I’ve been down a rabbit hole regarding the theories of embryos can self-correct when implanted. What are your thoughts? Sorry, this is three questions in one. I love your podcast and listen to every episode. I’m British, but I live in Dubai. Thank you for all the advice and support.

Abby Eblen MD (05:16)

Wow, we’re giving advice to Dubai. Yeah, I was going, wait a minute, the abnormal embryos and the AFC. I’ll answer the first part of the question. Her AMH is 1.48, her AFC was three, antral follicle count is something that we do when you’re in the office, and usually it’s predictive. Usually I would agree you would see six or eight or 10 or whatever micro follicles if you had an AMH of 1.48, but just sometimes you just don’t, we don’t see them, and I think really more importantly, you’ve already gone through IVF and it sounds like you’ve gotten a fair number of eggs. It doesn’t sound like you have a really low egg count, it’s more just that they’re abnormal. And so I don’t think it really matters. mean, think whatever it is, what it is, and it really is more important when we’re talking about IVF in terms of the number of eggs that you get. It sounds like you’re doing really well with that part of it.

Susan Hudson MD (06:02)

Carrie, what about the comment about IVF three times and the embryos are coming back abnormal? Should she stop PGT testing?

Carrie Bedient MD (06:10)

PGT testing is a huge question mark in cases like this. And the main reason I say it’s a huge question mark is mostly because you are questioning it. And part of this depends on what your end goals are, because as always, IVF and fertility treatment is tailored to what your end goal desires are. We don’t have an age on this woman, do we, for this patient? OK. So the reason I say that is because I’m very curious as to what that is because it plays into this answer. For example, if this is someone who is younger than 35, then there is a higher likelihood that those embryos have the possibility of being normal. If over 35, particularly over 40, there’s a much, much higher likelihood that the embryos are abnormal. And the things that play into these decisions are, number one, is there the possibility of a biopsy that damages the embryos and can impact the ability of them to implant later. Most of us don’t do anything that we think is going to damage embryos; I would say in most people’s hands, I don’t think that is a huge factor but it certainly can be and anything can happen. Another thing to think about is what are you going to do with that information? If you really want to transfer no matter what, then don’t get the PGT because PGT is going to give us reasons to not transfer.

Now that can be incredibly valuable depending on who you are and where you live. If you are someone who very much does not want to have a child that would be affected by a significant genetic disease, if you really want to avoid a miscarriage that we can see coming, PGT is incredibly valuable in those cases. If you’re someone who wants to transfer no matter what and you can live with those consequences, including a miscarriage, including…the potential for needing to discuss a termination or discuss having a child with significant genetic abnormality, then maybe PGT isn’t for you. With the potential for a placental correction or an embryonic correction, what that refers to is whether or not the biopsy sample truly represents what that baby will be. This is something that we think is more applicable in doing NGS than SNP array, but can apply to SNP array as well. And it refers to taking a sample from what will eventually become the placenta and the cells that are in the inner cell mass, which is what eventually becomes the baby, are going to essentially self-correct where maybe some of those abnormal ones in the placenta, a baby, a growing baby can tolerate that because a placenta has an organ for nine months and then it literally gets thrown in the trash afterwards. And so, with an embryo that might have the potential to be abnormal with some of the abnormal cells dying off in favor of the viable cells, then that’s potentially an argument for not doing PGT. Now, for everyone who is hearing this and going down the rabbit hole and starting to spiral immediately, please stop, please listen to me, and please know that for the studies that show whole chromosome abnormalities, those are very, very consistent with being reliable with no births. This is more talking about some of the very, very subtle things that you see more often in NGS than with a SNP array kind of PGT. I’m going to say that again. If you are doing PGT and you get an abnormal back, if it is a whole chromosome abnormality that is highly, highly, highly, highly, highly, highly times not infinity because that’s overstretching it, but times a whole hell of a lot. That is real. It’s the smaller segmentals that I’m talking about here.

Susan Hudson MD (09:40)

Mosaics are what she was originally talking about where some of the chromosomes say one thing, some of them say another. Segmental is where they’re saying there’s an abnormality in a segment of a chromosome. It’s not the whole chromosome. So that’s what we’re talking about. Whole chromosome versus segmental abnormalities. Those are the ones where it is more gray area. And there’s a lot of clinics out there who will transfer mosaics and will transfer segmentals. And if you’re a person that you want the knowledge of what am I transferring and knowing some of these things I’m transferring could actually result in a normal baby, then PGT is a great option. PGT is a great option to help you not only get pregnant, but not have to go through procedures such as embryo transfers that aren’t going to work or have very low likelihood of working. The data really shows it improves time to pregnancy, not actual your cumulative pregnancy rate because the embryos are the embryos. Whether they’re normal or abnormal, most chromosomally abnormal embryos are never going to implant. Those that do implant, the vast majority, though not all, are going to end in miscarriage. And so understanding that role in PGT. So I think you had a lot of great questions. Hopefully we provide some good information for you and for other listeners who are facing similar situations.

Susan Hudson MD (11:08)

As the holiday season rolls in, we know many of you are balancing celebrations with the quiet hope and sometimes heartache that comes with a fertility journey. At Docs Uncensored, spent years sitting with you in those moments, answering your questions and helping you navigate the twists and turns of IVF.

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Susan Hudson MD (12:31)

So our episode we are going to talk about 20 things that you should or should not do when you’ve had a failed cycle. Now this failed cycle may be with an IUI, it may be a failed cycle with an egg retrieval and we don’t have any eggs or embryos or it may be a failed FET so it’s going to cover a broad range of things but there are lots of things that we hear and see people do that we’re like, ooh, maybe we shouldn’t do that. Or maybe we should do this instead. And so we’re gonna take this and run with it and try to give you some advice on how to make a not so good situation a little bit better situation in the future.

All right, let’s start with Carrie.

Carrie Bedient MD (13:17)

My biggest piece of advice for what you should not do after a failed cycle is don’t give up. One failed cycle is one failed cycle. When you’ve seen one failed cycle, you have seen one failed cycle. You have not seen them all. And the road to reproduction is paved with failures. The reproductive system is the only system that reliably doesn’t work 75 % of the time.

If you think about someone who’s in their 20s and trying to get pregnant with no history of infertility, at best she’s got about a 25 % chance of getting pregnant that month. That means that 75 % of the time it will not work. And so first and foremost, don’t give up.

Abby Eblen MD (14:00)

Don’t go on Google and do a big search and find out that you should have had a post-coital test or you should have had anti-sperm antibody testing or some other crazy thing like that that we don’t do anymore or that you should have taken Viagra and you didn’t. Those are all things that should have had embryo glue. I keep coming up with more and more. There’s a whole bunch of things that are out there and those are things that if they were gonna work well, we would have already told you about them.

So I would say don’t Google and see your doctor and have a consult with your doctor so you can know what you really need to do, if anything. And maybe, as Carrie suggested, maybe you don’t need to do anything. Maybe it’s just bad luck.

Susan Hudson MD (14:37)

Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame your partner. As Carrie said, we are working an uphill battle in every part of this fight. Even when we do IVF, we’re looking at probably about a 60 to 70 % chance of success with any single embryo transfer.

Know that there is not just one thing that happened probably. There were probably lots of forces of nature, literally, that were acting to not necessarily have this result in a pregnancy. Just because, one cycle didn’t work, it doesn’t mean another one. But really trying not to play the blame game of you did this, I did that. It doesn’t help. It doesn’t help. You’re in this together. It takes a village to help achieve pregnancy sometimes and we got to keep that village close.

Carrie Bedient MD (15:29)

One thing you should do is do ask what you learned from this one cycle and whether that is an IUI and IVF cycle and FET. Did you learn that you have eggs? Did you learn that they can grow? Did you learn that they can turn into an embryo? Did you know that your follicles released after your trigger shot? Did you see fertilization? Did you see any signs of implantation? Even if it did not go the distance, ask what did happen and what did you learn because there’s two things you’ll get out of that. One is a good sense of where you are in all of this. And two is a sense of a lot of this is working right. Because when you really truly break it down, you’ll see a lot of the things that need to happen really did happen. And that is not something to take lightly because that doesn’t occur in absolutely everybody. And so appreciate it for what it is. Take stock of what you learned and apply it.

Abby Eblen MD (16:21)

Consider counseling. You’ve been through a lot. If you’ve gotten to the point of doing an egg retrieval and an embryo transfer, you’ve been through a lot of ups and downs. And for some people, even if it’s the first transfer, they kind of just lose it. It’s like, I’ve put all this money and all this time into this and it didn’t work and I’m just devastated. That’s not uncommon. I mean, we see that sometimes it’s after the second or third failed transfer, but I’ve seen patients that have transferred five embryos, five transfers, and on the fifth one they got pregnant. Now I’m sure we all have stories like that where we just don’t know what has to happen for an embryo to implant. We wish we knew more. But I think anything that you can do to support yourself, whether it’s counseling, see your minister, talk to friends, anything that can help you emotionally, because this is a marathon. It’s not a 5K, it’s a marathon.

You wanna make sure that your tank is full. They should gotta be resilient to get back up after you’ve been punched down and get back up and start doing this again because the more times that you do it, the more likely you are to be successful.

Susan Hudson MD (17:20)

Treat yourself kindly, you are more than just a sum of your reproductive organs. You have a life outside of just trying to conceive and realize that though this is a very challenging part of your life. As Abby mentioned, it is not the entirety of it.

And it is hard. It can be very, very hard. Abby and I went through this ourselves. We much prefer being on the doctor’s side than the patient side. I will, I will take that almost any day, almost any day. But like I said, be kind to yourself, treat yourself to something and, and realize that there’s a lot to you other than just baby making.

Abby Eblen MD (17:45)

Yes, we do.

Carrie Bedient MD (18:01)

Don’t take advice from Yahoo’s. And that can be anything from Yahoo.com, which I don’t even know if that still exists anymore. I guess theoretically it’s out there. Probably more reliably is don’t take advice from someone that you wouldn’t trust to treat you because there is a ton of information out there. And there will be some people who’ve been through this before who are very well versed in it, who aren’t necessarily doctors, but who know this world very well.

Abby Eblen MD (18:08)

Hahaha!

Carrie Bedient MD (18:28)

And there will be other people who say helpful things like, you should just relax and take a vacation. And don’t listen to those guys. Because if that worked, number one, there would be no fertility clinics anywhere. We’d all be out of a job. And I assure you, unfortunately, for our patients, we are very much in a job because this is a wide field and growing. But also, if you wouldn’t let them treat you for your fertility issues, don’t necessarily listen to advice from them because you want to, going back to rule two, avoid the snake oil here.

Susan Hudson MD (19:00)

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Abby Eblen MD (19:33)

On a medical note, I would say if you’ve not considered genetic testing, and particularly if you’re gonna go back through another IVF cycle, you might wanna consider doing that because as Carrie said very eloquently at the beginning, bottom line is it just helps you pick the better embryo. If you’ve not done genetic testing, you may wanna consider that if you go back through again so that you have a better handle on how many normal embryos you actually have.

Susan Hudson MD (19:55)

Along that line, know that as you go through fertility treatments, sometimes there is new testing that may not have been applicable or appropriate in the past because you hadn’t had a failure. So know that sometimes as you go through this journey, additional testing can become available and asking, Hey, is this the point where we might look at additional testing or is what I have done at this point really the sum of what data really says is appropriate at this time.

Carrie Bedient MD (20:28)

Piece of advice number 10, do decide on your line. Decide on your threshold. And this is something where if you have just completed your first IUI retrieval transfer, what have you, then most likely your line is still a ways in the distance. But if you have just completed your fifth retrieval, then maybe it’s time to pull back and say, all right, what’s my line?

What’s my line for doing the next thing, whether it’s going from IUI to IVF, whether it’s adding PGT testing to IVF, whether it’s moving to donor, whether it’s moving to surrogacy, whether it’s deciding that you’re going to pursue a family in a completely different manner, do decide what’s your threshold and what’s your line. And that applies to physically, emotionally, financially, and holistically.

Who are you and your partner if that applies as a person and the rest of your family as that applies. Because there are some patients who will say, look, I’ve got a ton more in me and I wanna keep going. And there will be other people who are able to pull back and say, This has taken over my life and this is no longer who I am or who I want to be. So figure out where your line is.

Abby Eblen MD (21:35)

With that in mind, it’s okay to take a break. I have a lot of patients who are like, but I’m 36, I’ve got to keep going, I’ve got to keep going. A few months in the whole scheme of things is not a big deal. I don’t think any fertility doctor would tell you that, if you quit for three months, your eggs are just going to be shot at that. If you feel like you need to take a mental health break, I think you should take it. And a few months in that whole time is not a big deal.

Do something fun, do something that you and if you have a partner that you’ve wanted to do, go somewhere, do something different, get your mind off of it. Because no matter what the stressor is in our lives, if you can get your mind off of it for a few days or a few weeks or a few months, you feel like a totally different person sometimes when you come back and have that same issue. So take a break if you need one.

Susan Hudson MD (22:17)

Know that it is okay to change your mind. So a lot of times this really has to be when people are going from IUI to IVF or they’re doing IVF and going from what we call autologous eggs, so their own eggs to donor eggs, or maybe considering things like donor sperm or donor embryos that we have all had patients who came in and said, I don’t want to go do blank and we will completely respect that. But this is one of those things in life that unless you are personally in the middle of it, you really don’t know what decisions you’re going to make. And as you go through your fertility journey, what was important may not maintain the same level of importance 6, 12, 24 months later.

And so that’s just something important and keep in mind and give yourself permission to say, Hey, maybe I need to reevaluate this.

Carrie Bedient MD (23:20)

Do consider when to get a second opinion and things that would make you go down this route. Number one, if you’re really thinking about this, go listen to the episode that we recorded about this, because we go into this one in a ton of detail. But if you are considering a second opinion, decide, is that really and truly going to help you? If you have just done one cycle of whatever, then it’s probably a little early to jump ship.

If you have done a ton of cycles, then maybe it’s worth asking what somebody else would do just to see if there’s anything different. It doesn’t mean that you don’t like and trust and appreciate your doc. It just means you’re asking for someone else to help. And there will be some docs who are very willing to work with other docs. There will be some docs who say, OK, you are now going to continue your care with whoever gave you the second opinion. Consider at what point you want more professional advice and professional opinions, and balance that with, am I trying to bail too early on the doc that I’ve been working with? Because there is a balance between those two. You don’t wanna go off and get a second opinion all day every day because you’ll never get anywhere with that. It’s too many cooks in the kitchen, but sometimes it is very much the right thing to do.

Abby Eblen MD (24:27)

Close friends and family members, ideally close family members that you really like in on what’s going on because I think if you keep it just to yourself or you and your partner, it can be a lot for a couple to deal with. That way you’re not just bouncing things off your partner all the time and female partners a lot of times cry, male partners a lot of times don’t want to talk about it because they know it makes their partner cry.

It’s really good to have other friends and family members involved and not a huge circle, but your best friend, and honestly, most bosses at work, and of course I’m sure this varies, but most bosses at work, if you really let them in on what’s going on, many times I’ve had patients come to me that have been nervous about doing that, but once they let their boss know, their boss is like, oh yeah, I went through IVF too, I understand completely, or I’ve had family members, I understand completely. And so they feel like that they get a little extra, help at work and they don’t feel as stressed about missing work for all the appointments and that sort of thing. So make sure you have a posse of friends, it really helps.

Susan Hudson MD (25:23)

If you haven’t been successful, take a look at things that are otherwise going on with your health that may need a little extra attention. If we need to get out and do a little bit more exercise, eat a little bit more, more healthy, get some of our other health issues under better control, just because you’re going through fertility care doesn’t mean you can’t be working on improving your overall health.

Which is not only going to improve your fertility, but it’s also gonna help lay the groundwork for a healthier pregnancy.

Carrie Bedient MD (25:57)

Do know it’s not going to feel like this forever. Even if nothing changes, even if this is how it is forever and ever amen, you won’t feel like this forever. And remember that because what is so incredibly intense and awful and sharp and painful in so many ways, it’s not going to feel like this forever. And so take a deep breath and remember you can do this. You have survived 100 % of your hardest days so far.

And you can do this one too.

Abby Eblen MD (26:25)

I would say on a more medical note, don’t automatically ask your doctor to transfer two embryos. Certainly if you’ve just done one transfer, particularly if they’re genetically normal, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommends that we still only transfer one embryo because the most important thing is your health. And if we transfer more than one embryo, we can end up not only with two babies, but we could end up even with three babies. And back in the days when we didn’t do genetic testing, sometimes in some groups of women as they got older, we would say, okay, well, we’ve done a couple of transfers now, let’s do another one, let’s put two embryos in, let’s put three embryos in. And so that’s where all those multiple babies came from. And when babies are born, I mean, right now, I know you desperately wanna get pregnant, but if you’re on the other side, if you’ve gotten pregnant and you have triplets, that’s a really scary place to be in as well. And so we really want everything to be as safe as it can, particularly if we transfer genetically normal embryo.

That embryo has a really high likelihood of getting you pregnant. And we don’t think there’s any benefit to transferring more than one in that situation.

Susan Hudson MD (27:24)

Know what your insurance coverage is. Some people don’t have any coverage for anything related to fertility. A lot of people have diagnostic coverage and more and more people are getting treatment coverage and that treatment coverage can extend to more advanced treatments like IVF. So a lot of people think that, Hey, IVF is going to be out of my financial realm. Know that some of those insurances are going to be on your side. Also look at other options including grants and potentially looking at additional employers who do historically have fertility treatment coverage.

Carrie Bedient MD (28:04)

Do rely on the things that you know work for you to help you to feel better throughout this. That can be exercise, that can be ice cream, that can be calling your friends, that can be taking a day to go outside and be in nature. Do fall back on the fact that by the time you’ve gotten to this point, you have 20, 30, 40 years of experience in dealing with yourself. And remember that you’re the expert on you. And…do what you need to do in order to keep going in order to make it through.

Abby Eblen MD (28:35)

And if you want just to do something different, talk to your doctor about a different type of cycle. We don’t think that there’s a huge difference in success rates between different cycles, but sometimes if you’ve done maybe a program cycle, it’s a longer cycle, it’s more involved. If you do a natural cycle FET or modified natural cycle, it’s a shorter cycle. It may be a little bit more expensive if you come in for more monitoring visits, but it might be reasonable to do something a little bit different just because it doesn’t hurt to try something new.

Susan Hudson MD (29:03)

On other side of that, just because something didn’t work the first time, especially with IUI cycles, that doesn’t mean that it’s not going to work in the future. If you ovulated, if everything went well, and unfortunately just didn’t end up with pregnancy, sometimes doing the same thing a couple of times, not indefinitely, can be a good path to take.

Carrie Bedient MD (29:27)

Want to go through the list?

Susan Hudson MD (29:28)

Yes.

Carrie Bedient MD (29:29)

Okay, number one, don’t give up. Number two, don’t go on Google. Avoid the snake oil. Number three, don’t blame yourself or your partner. Number four, do ask what you learned from the cycle. And five, do consider counseling. Six, treat yourself kindly. Number seven, don’t take advice from yahoos. Number eight, do consider genetic testing. Nine, consider…asking if other testing is needed to take advantage of newer developments or things that may have changed in the time that you have been in treatment. Number 10, decide on what your line is and what is your threshold for continuing care, for doing the same thing that you’re doing currently. Number 11, take a break if needed. Number 12, do be willing to change your mind. Number 13, consider a second opinion. 14, Do tell your people, your family, your friends, and let them help you. 15, take control of your general health. Take stock of your general health, things that may have slid a little bit in the time you’ve been in treatment. Make sure you go back and work on the basics. 16, do know it’s not going to feel like this forever. 17, don’t default to asking your doctor to transfer two embryos because we want to avoid future badness. 18. Do know how your insurance coverage works and how that might influence your care. 19, do trust yourself as you are going through this process. You know yourself well. And 20, do talk about alternative treatments and treatment plans to see if that might be right for you at this stage.

Susan Hudson MD (30:57)

All right, I think this was a great episode. All right.

Abby Eblen MD (30:59)

Yay, that was good! Yeah!

Carrie Bedient MD (31:02)

My staff is going to be so impressed with me that I could read my writing because they all give me crap that they cannot read my writing. And so A plus to all of us for going slow enough for me to take good notes.

Abby Eblen MD (31:07)

You did great notes. Yeah, I’m impressed by those too.

Susan Hudson MD (31:16)

Fantastic. To our audience, thank you so much for listening and subscribe to Apple Podcast to have next Tuesday’s episode pop up automatically for you. Also, be sure to subscribe to YouTube. That really helps us spread reliable information and help as many people as possible.

Carrie Bedient MD (31:31)

Visit fertilitydocsuncensored.com to submit questions and sign up for our email list. Pick up your copy of the IVF Blueprint today at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your favorite bookstore. Check out our Instagram and TikTok for quick hits of fertility tips between our weekly episodes.

Abby Eblen MD (31:45)

As always, this podcast is intended for entertainment. It’s not a substitute for medical advice from your own physician. Subscribe, sign up for emails, and we’ll talk soon.

Carrie Bedient MD (31:54)

Yay.

Susan Hudson MD (31:54)

Bye!

Abby Eblen MD (31:55)

Bye.

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